We Don't Always Yell
by The Wolf's Shadow
Summary: Leo and Raph are capable of using their inside voices when talking with each other, they just usually choose not to. Some everyday conversations between them under some everyday and not-so-everyday circumstances. R&R.
1. Italians

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the TMNT franchise or the characters in it.

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><p>The show on tv wasn't all that good, but it was on at two in the morning. Can't ask for more than that. Well I could, but then Mikey would say something smart and the world would end. So, no. I can't ask for more.<p>

Raph came in from the kitchen and flopped onto the sofa.

"What are you doing up?" He shot me a look and grumbled something less than complimentary under his breath before turning back towards the tv.

I wiggled my backside deeper into the seat cushion and preceded to ignore him.

We just sat there for a while watching the show.

"Dat guy's a bad kisser."

"Why do you say that?" I was a little surprised he had spoken.

He turned to me again, the light from the television making weird shadows on his face. I wondered for a moment if that was what we looked like when we saved someone in a dark alley, and if that's why they always screamed.

"He's all sloppy, like dis." Raph made uncoordinated kissing motions with the air in front of his face and fumbled his hands every which way around an invisible waist. His feet lifted off the ground with his efforts, he was so focused on showing me _exactly_ what the guy was doing wrong.

He stopped and looked at me expectantly, waiting for a response. He got tired of that after a moment though and turned his attention back to the show.

I spent the next scene coming to terms with what I had just seen. If previous experience was anything to judge by, I would need to mediate for a couple hours after the show to completely erase the experience from my conscious and subconscious mind. I hate it when things like _that_ happen; the repercussions always take too long to sort out.

Having put the sight of Raph doing _that_ out of my mind for at least the duration of the show, I asked him another question.

"So what's a good kiss like then?" I dug an old popcorn kernel out from between the couch cushions and started inspecting it.

"Well..." he drawled out and leaned nonchalantly against the sofa, throwing an arm around the back, essentially strutting his "stuff" while sitting down. Whenever I try to do that Don usually laughs at me and says something about the last incident with the toaster. I glared at Raph over the kernel between my fingers, just a _little_ jealous.

He continued, "It's sorta like... uh," he scratched around his mask trying to come up with good explanation. "Ya know what, if you're gonna kiss someone just make sure dey're Italian or somethin'."

"Why an Italian?" Satisfied, I popped the kernel into my mouth and started to grind it absentmindedly between my molars.

"Dey're just better."

I asked Raph another question before I could think of all the unsatisfactory results, mentally cringing at my own slip up.

"How do you know that?"

He shot me a glance, eyes glinting in the dark room, offset by the light from the tv screen.

"Wouldn't ya like ta know." A smirk turned his lips up the slightest bit.

I blanched and choked on the kernel.

...

...

"Hey, Leo, you okay over dere?"

_This_ is exactly why we try to avoid talking to each other.

Well, that and the yelling thing.

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><p>AN: I've just been in the mood for TMNT in the last couple of days, so I couldn't resist writing this up. I haven't had much practice writing for this fandom however, so any advice would be extremely welcome.

Out of curiosity, how do you usually see Raphael's accent written?


	2. Motivation

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the TMNT franchise or the characters in it. Or House.

A/N: Here's another chapter, it's a little different though. Enjoy and leave a review. :)

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><p>I love it when I'm doing something sooo normal but something horrible happens anyway. Like I'm going out for ice cream or something when a street gang, say the Purple Dragons, decide it's a good idea to kidnap me.<p>

But I love it even more when I get kidnapped with Leo. No, I'm serious. Stop laughing. _Now._

First off, Purple Dragons are mostly stupid... and a little bit dumb. It's fun to see 'em mess something as simple as a kidnapping.

Then there's Leo. Once you've got him figured out- but, I'll get back to that.

Most people think I just jump into a situation fists flying without thinking first. They'd be right, but that's _not_ the point. (Shut up.) I'm just trying to say I've got a bit of strategist in me too.

Leo and Donny can't have all the fun. And no, Mikey doesn't count. Now stop interrupting!

As I was saying earlier, once you've got Leo figured out you're pretty much taken care of in kidnapping situations. What Leo needs more than anything else to do something is motivation.

Now you're saying, "You idiot, Raph. Leo lives for honor and ninja stuff!" Well, you should shut up all ready.

Honor, lectures, and the like are what motivates him to fight the Foot, lead our family, and brush his teeth in the morning. If it weren't for _motivation_ he'd be playing dominoes in a corner somewhere with his teeth. For some reason he really likes dominoes.

But sometimes he needs a little help to get going, just a little extra motivation.

"Donatello put _what_ in my tea?"

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><p>Twenty minutes later I'm sittin' nice and pretty in front of the TV watching House. Leo's sitting next to me picking at a new blood stain on his mask.<p>

He sniffs it. I just sort of roll my eyes.

"Who were you talking to back there?"

Crap.


End file.
